A lot of this year has been about acceptance for me. Life has thrown various challenges my way – the biggest one being a broken bone. It gave me a lot of time to reflect and it also allowed me to evaluate my life.

That led me to my word of the month for August which was: Embrace.

August for me always feels like the peak of summer. Almost like a last chance to have fun and get away from regular life. Of course, in the UK, we have a couple of bank holidays too which adds to that feeling of freedom.

But this year was a little different…

Already, certain plans that I had weren’t going so well. I was excited for the Les Miserables world tour which was booked for June. There was a moment when I thought I wouldn’t be able to go, but I made it! Albeit it in a walking boot and crutches.

What I didn’t expect was anxiety to take over and have to leave after ten minutes.

It knocked my confidence tremendously but I had time until I had other events booked.

Well, August was one of them. I was supposed to go and see Phantom of the Opera in the West End. I tried once when I was eighteen and I thought this was going to be the year to conquer it.

I didn’t even go to London. I wasn’t in a place mentally.

But that’s where the word ‘embrace’ helped me.

It was an opportunity for me to embrace whatever life was throwing at me. There were plans that I officially couldn’t change but I listened to myself and made decisions on what was best for me at the time.

I think that very often we get caught up in life, doing things because we have to or because we think we have to. We make so many plans so that we don’t miss out but it also means we leave very little room for adventure.

For myself, August was a month of letting life come to me. Seeing what each day would bring without too much pressure. It enabled me to see how much I enjoy the simpler things in life now, as opposed to the grand events.

That’s not to say that I didn’t make any plans, but I also didn’t push for things.

For example, All Points East was on last weekend and it was something that I wanted to go to as soon as I found out that Twenty One Pilots were playing. They are the band that got me through university and their music really means a lot to me on a multitude of levels.

Anyway, I thought I might be able to go as a family friend has festival connections. It didn’t happen, but I also didn’t push too hard and actually, it was probably for the best because of my injury. Every day still brings pain.

Every day, I try to go with the mindset of embracing the day wholeheartedly and making the best of it. Some days, I have to go slower, but that offers me an opportunity to spend more time on my art.

Other days, a window of opportunity will present itself and I will do my best to seize it and… you guessed it… embrace it.

Embracing things didn’t just mean literal life for me though, it also meant embracing myself. A lot of internal conflict comes from fighting against certain thoughts or feelings. It’s draining.

What I started to practice was a dual level approach for parts of me that I didn’t like. I would firstly acknowledge a trait or a thought that I didn’t like (for example, not wanting to share a chocolate bar) and then I would actively try to behave in a way that I would want to come naturally.

It might sound obvious and the result may even be the same as trying to ignore it, but for me, it helped a lot. I allowed myself room to feel and not try to suppress it. It meant that I didn’t have to lie to myself or others about finding an act of kindness difficult, but also encouraged me to grow as a person. Not doing something because I felt obliged to, but because that was actually what I wanted to.

Embracing things meant embracing whatever the day had to bring, including embracing myself. It’s not just about accepting what is happening, but being proactive about it.